We're too young to fall asleep, too cynical to speak

This post is mostly about my shoddy lungs, but first - something pretty.

I finished my distraction project - my crochet bag of beauty. I have to say, I am rather proud of it. The colours all work together nicely.

I cheated a bit at the end - rather than crochet the ties I used icord because it was quicker (my mother was right, I am lazy) but the result is the same.

June has flown by very quickly. I have successfully procured two more balls of yarn for the tree so work on the Big Project has resumed. 

Outside the world of knitting and crochet, I successfully stuffed up my Asthma appointment last week by missing the boat which would have safely got me from the mainland back to the island for my appointment. It has been a hectic few weeks at work and on monday all my sanity (what is left) went out the window. I decided to stay an extra 10minutes and get the quicker, later ferry rather than the slower earlier one. It wasn't until it was far too late that I remembered why I was getting the slower ferry in the first place - the quicker one didn't actually exist (they run hourly during the day, and every 30mins during rush hour). 

I rang the surgery to explain that I would be 15 minutes late.  Given that I once waited 90 minutes for a doctor, I didn't feel 15mins was that unreasonable. The curt response was that the asthma nurse would not wait for me. Thanks a bundle! Incidentally, I was the last appointment of the day so I wouldn't have been holding anyone else up.

The worst bit was having to go back to the office after doing the whole "leaving for the day" dance.

The appointment was rescheduled for today and I had a number of alarms, reminders, post-it notes & people at the ready to ensure that I didn't make the same mistake twice.

Now, this is going to come as something of a shock, but it turns out I have asthma. 

I know! I didn't see it coming either. Four chest infections, two inhalers and a month blowing into a peak flow meter prepared me for the inevitable but it has still come a something of a gut punch. There was a small shred of me that still expected the nurse to say "well you quite clearly don't have asthma" - I'm so used to being told there's nothing wrong with me. 

(Context: For 8 years I was told I was merely clumsy until someone realised I had flat feet, lax cruciate ligaments and a misaligned kneecap. In those 8 years I had a wide variety of parents, teachers, GPs and orthopaedic surgeons telling me that my knees clicked because I was growing. On reflection, it only taking 2 months to get an asthma diagnosis really isn't that bad after all)

The nurse (who I got on *so well* with last time) took one look at my graph & made a noise somewhere between a hiccup and a gasp of glee. She was absolutely delighted with it. Never, she said, never had she seen such a clear and obvious case of asthma so perfectly presented in a peak flow graph. Glad I could oblige.

She was so pleased with it she took a photocopy; the mathematical translation of my lungs is probably on a staffroom wall somewhere for nurses and doctors to enjoy over coffee - "just look at this!"

Hmmph.

Back in the real world, I have *another* inhaler (a brown one) which means only two things to me;

- it's a steroid to prevent scarring on my lungs

- from the (very short) pep talk I got from the pharmacist I have to take it twice a day indefinitely. 

Some people may be wondering why all the fuss? It's only asthma - hundreds of thousands of people have it - schools are littered with wheezing kids and it's one of  those easy conditions that pops up in politics every so often like cancer and obesity as a symptom of our national decline.

The thing is, until 2 months ago I thought my immune system was the cause of my issues - I figured all my major organs worked perfectly & certainly I don't have any obvious allergies or long term health issues. To discover that actually my immune system is ok it's just my lungs that are troublesome has come as something of a shock.

I'm not even 100% sure what asthma is. Mine seems to be temperature related - I'm a human barometer and I don't like cold & damp.

When someone is talking at you about lung scarring, long term lung damage, steroids, indefinite medication programme... and you only went to the doctor with (what I thought was) a cold it can all be a bit overwhelming.

The very worst bit, the bit that made me want to go home and eat a whole tub of ice cream, was when the pharmacist told me about possible side effects. Apparently I must rinse my mouth after taking my steroids or I can get "oral thrush". I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. 

So that's it. This is a bit of a stressy post. I'm sure I'll get used to the idea & settle into a routine. And, as everyone is in such a rush to tell me, it could be worse.

Quavers & Crochet

Last weekend I got bored. Boredom is dangerous.
Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying the tree and it is going *really* well.

Here's the thing: My attention span is appalling. Lord knows how I got through two dissertations.

Sure, I could continue with the tree. It's a great pattern with little increases and decreases to make the branches and you can see how it is all going to come together. The yarn is an absolute joy to use. However, I have nearly gone through three balls already. The last thing I want to do is run out of yarn (yes, I did purchase the amount the pattern advised me to but I genuinely don't think it was adequate - on retrospect a spare ball for "just in case" would have been wise).

So, last weekend, I was itching for a change. I cast my eye through my vast library of books that have accumulated through various christmases and birthdays. Last year my knitting buddy, Katy, got me a book on crochet.

Crochet is very much her forte. She is currently in the middle of putting together a gorgeous blanket. I do think crochet is a bit like magic - using only one needle to construct a work of art. Two needles is definitely my comfort zone.

I have only done one proper crochet project so far which was the Pint of Stout from my "Knitorama" book. It was quite an easy pattern - simply DC round and round, change from black to white near the top and bob's your uncle.

See? We started talking about boredom and already I have wondered off into the world of crochet stout! Let's try and focus on the matter at hand.

I was bored. I was looking for a project.

I have decided that I quite like crochet. I haven't really had the chance to do anything big with it (I did start a scarf - everyone starts a scarf at some point. I've finished 3 so I'm not doing too badly!)

The above work of art will eventually be a bag. The beauty of the pattern is that you can use a variety of old spare yarns. Eagle-eyed readers will spot the same yarn used in a hat which once drew compliments from Rhod Gilbert. I've used three yarns here and the colours are complimenting eachother quite nicely. You work in rounds of treble and double crochet - I have five more rounds to go before I start decreasing. Maybe I can use the finished product to keep my Big Project in?

Other News

The Asthma thing is going quite well - so far I haven't forgotten to do the peak flow test twice a day. The Ashtma Nurse (with whom I got on so well) has decided that she can't make our appointment on Tuesday (this was something of a surprise seeing as it was she who actually chose the appointment). I have to rearrange the appointment on Monday. Yay.

Keeping track of my "peak flow" has been something of a revelation. The readings are usually significantly lower in the mornings compared to the evenings. The humidity seems to be as aggravating as damp. The last two days have been completely mad - I blew 460 in both the morning and the evening so my diary now looks like this;

 

Essentially it looks like I've flatlined.
 

I'm also better at taking my inhaler with me (mostly because Simon keeps asking me if I have it before I leave the house - thank goodness for that!)

This weekend I haven't had the time to be bored. The weather has been far too glorious. Some friends came over from the mainland and so much BBQing and consumption of Pimms was undertaken. Good times.